One of the things corpos do when you become a manager is hook you up with other managers who help you step around the rakes of the human psyche. So one said to me today "you're taking on a lot and you should make sure to take time to relax for yourself". Ha, well, I imagine you'd be more concerned if you knew about the company on the side!
A few years ago, I was showing my software engineering manager pictures of mitochondria I took on my microscope. "Where do you get the time for this? for the classes?" He had to sign off on classes I take, because the company reimburses part of it. Of course, I'm thinking, I still waste so much time.
Benjamin Franklin got it right in his autobiography. He talked about how much he was able to accomplish when he didn't drink and how strong he was. Alcohol kills recovery. You know this, but Mr. $100 really understood this. In his list of thirteen virtues, temperance is the first, because without a stable mind, being X% less effective at everything else starts to add up. This school of thought is totally at odds with American drinking culture "need to cool down with a beer." Cool. Side note: I tried going through BenBen's program right before the pandemic, but I just have different problems. I think the program is more effective when you make up your own goals, focus on your own problems. You probably don't have all the issues Mr. Franklin had.
So what is with all these people saying that you need time to relax? You need to just stare at a wall for 15 minutes? People say I want to do X, then they're like, "I am tired," "I don't want to wake up," or "Oh, I'll just take a short break." I know I'm guilty of all those, but I don't think excuses are going to get you anywhere closer to a goal. They delay. They procrastinate. They become habits. They have got. To. Go.
If you want to do a lot of things, as many things as you can do, you do definitely need to relax. You need to destress. You need to physically get sleep. Your muscles must recover. Beyond that though, replace bad habits with good ones. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. Everything you do, especially habitually, ask yourself how it moves towards your goals, and if it doesn't, then pick something else.
Let me zoom in on this application of habits. If you come home every day and watch TV for 30 minutes, that is 30 minutes you could be using for something else. Imagine instead, you come home and work on your music (or your company or whatever) for 30 minutes everyday. As long as you love what you do, you are relaxed and happy with what you're doing. Sure, maybe it's psychologically harder, but by making it a habit, routine, there is positive growth in your life, and you will keep the habit. Which habit do you want? Because you can do either with a bit of work to switch from one to the other. The trick is recognizing that 30 minutes of the Bachelorette doesn't do anything productive and building a better habit. Okay, and if you want to watch TV, then go do it, but what I am talking about here is if you want to make the kind of optimizations to do everything you possibly can do. Plenty of people are fine just doing some things.
Oh, but my social batteries are depleted. Well, I believe extroversion is a learned skill, a muscle you can work like any other, and this false dichotomy and prison-labeling is counterproductive. Calling yourself an introvert is accepting that you aren't good with people. Calling yourself an extrovert is accepting that you can't be around yourself. Be better than either of those things. Be good around people, and be good around yourself. DNA surely knows nothing about intro/extroversion. It's a human invention of convenience, it's a jail of language, and it shouldn't define you.
So my point is, you don't have to relax. You are probably not pushing up against biological limits. It's your own disbelief that is stopping you. Fuck relaxing.